Ugh. I have to run 50 minutes AGAIN?

This week has been a little grueling.

Tuesday we headed to Hunstville, AL to visit the US Space and Rocket Center so we could see the latest Star Wars exhibit. Awesome, but that meant I had to get all of Monday and Tuesday's workouts done on Monday, which left me feeling a little worn out. We got home from Alabama near midnight on Tuesday night, and I had to rise and shine bright and early yesterday for my volunteer shift at the aquarium before work. Then, after work, hit the DEVO show with a friend. Another midnight homecoming. Today, I am worn the hell out.

I refuse to let my tiredness derail my training, though. It's gonna suck, but I'm running tonight, come hell or high water.

Less Easy, But Still Not Too Bad

Last night, I banged out another 50 minute run. It was not the lighthearted romp of Tuesday, that's for sure! I had to eat on the run. I had a lot on my mind. But somehow, I kept plugging away, and the minutes ticked by.

I am having a hard time imagining what it will be like to run an hour at a time.

But then, I once could not imagine running 5 minutes. So it's all relative.

Huh. That was easy!

Despite my fear of NEVER being able to make it through the 48 minute barrier (Thursday's fail really shook me up) last night's run was a breeze from start to finish. All 50 minutes of it - two of which were extra!

When I first began running, I was thinking, "This feels easy... uh oh... better be careful not to burn up all my energy early on." But I managed to keep a pretty consistent pace and I felt good -- really good.

The time flew by. When I hit the 1/2 way mark, I started questioning my own clock math. "If I started at 7:12 and end at 8:00, that's 48 minutes, right?"

My math was fine. I was just having an unusually good run. I hope I have more of them. I even sprinted the last minute. Wheeeeeee!

Performance Anxiety

Ok, after Thursday's disappointing performance and a distance run on Sunday that could only be described as half-assery, I am a little trepidatious about tonight's run. I am keenly aware that I have not had a "good" run in a week, and I worry that I might have trouble getting back up to speed, so to speak. (Using the words "run" and "speed" in the same sentence when referring to me is hilarious.)

Also, part of me wonders if I am feeling a little bit of runner burnout. I think because I am on my self-established training plan to prep for the Disneyland and Wine & Dine 1/2s, I kind of just feel like every run is just being done to check off my requirement (or in my case, use a pink highlighter on it). I hope the joy returns. It might be that I feel burned out because I seem to be hitting this developmental wall, so my brain is just associating negativity with the whole thing. In any case, I shall endeavor to move past the current blahs.

Let's just see how tonight goes.

Some Experiments Fail

Yesterday, I woke up too late to get in the sculpting workout I had planned for the morning. "No problem!" I thought. It's only a 30 minute workout -- I can wedge that in before I go running tonight.

Oh, foolish mortal.

The sculpting workout was fine, but my run suffered terribly. I hit 30 minutes and started walking. Damn! I think normally,around the 30 minute mark, my body starts cranking out endorphins and that allows me to keep going to the 48 minutes I have worked up to so far. But last night, my body was all "Um, hey, idiot, you used up your endorphins on the beginning of your run, after your 30 minutes of weight training! You're cut off!" What a stupid struggle of a learning experience!

At least now I know one more thing about what my body is willing to do.

WhyDoIBotherItis

Ok, I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others. It's stupid, and is a recipe for dismay and heartbreak. Last night, however, I was thinking as I ran about my performance and the ways it has and hasn't changed over the last couple of years. I got to wondering about how I will do in the Disneyland 1/2 in September, and then my inner Eeyore kicked in with this gem: No matter how much you train, Tricia will probably blow right past you now that she's quit smoking, whether she trains or not.
What a bitch my inner Eeyore is! That's just mean! Besides, it doesn't matter. Our first 1/2, she came in ahead of me, this last one, behind me, and it didn't really matter one bit either time. I don't know why I let my brain sass me like that sometimes.


In fat-assedness news, I am becoming progressively more angry with my scale. It's down three pounds, up five pounds, down two, up one. I know our bodies wax and wane and carry extra water for various reasons. (I do love my sodium!) Even so, the downward trend has not really happened in a while. I dropped eight lbs. right out of the gate at the end of May, but spent all of June just wobbling back and forth up and down the same five pounds, even though I'm doing everything right. Frustrato. On the upside, the body fat percentage has gone down, which does support my "water, water, everywhere" theory. Blar. I have this fantastic vision of reaching goals and having smaller numbers, but reality is not playing nice with my dreams!

Clearly, I'm traveling through a patch of negative thinking. Gotta figure out how to turn it around!

Will I Ever Have Endurance Outside? During a Race?

I can run forever indoors. Ok, not forever, but 46 minutes, at least! That often seems like forever, so I think my statement is valid.

Anyway, once I get outside, even on a lovely day, it seems I can't run nearly that long. Some of it, I know, is mental. But I also worry that I am training myself to be a wuss.

Admittedly, I have no big desire to run outside in Atlanta in July. But I need to be able to handle running outside the safety and ease of my air-conditioned indoor track.

Sigh.

I don't wanna.